Monday, August 4, 2008

Let me Start from the beginning

Born Feb 28,1958

White Memorial Hospital

Let me find out where to start from my earliest memory

I remember a lot Mischievous, Laughed a lot, always with the in crowd but not a leader

Nor a follower I was like in-between but I knew I was special and life was my play ground

I was always a thinker, trying to figure out things and how it worked, never able to get the

Girl I wanted but got the ones who would settle for me,

I was always called names but what child hasn’t, I found out early in life I was good

At almost everything I did, I had ambition, always look for the best, but unable to

Achieve any amount of success financially, I once heard my grandmother say to me

Honey our family have never had money or been well off.

My deep down in my subconscious these words were profound because I heard it

From one of my nieces you lot is your lot and you can’t change it Wow I thought

My goal has been to prove them wrong, but maybe the focus is wrong for me in my minds

Eye---- Everything is scrambled nothing at this point in my life is in the right place and I

Just wonder how to unscramble the thoughts that I am moving faster then the speed of

Sound I see everything clear as the nose on my face. However it’s to much information I

Am unable to process the images it feels like a plane in flight check all the instrumentation

Insuring the I am on course but so how until I get their I don’t know that this first flight

Is correct until I reach my destination. All along the way thinking of the future I can’t remember

The things in my past and even as each day passes I do the things today that shape my future.

But am I doing enough of a correction to get their.

 

To Be Continued:

 

 

 

 

At work

Still worried but busy today which is a good thing we have been slow for weeks getting ready also for kinkos move to city of commerce, my mind is occupied.
Will call my son he invited his cusin over yesterday hopefully I am not ate out of house and home.
I pray to God that his day is good.
Found out my uncle is in the hosipital his 82 and my mom is putting together a family reunion on sept 13, I struggling with money but I believe god will provide thank you Jesus
Blackberry

Sunday, August 3, 2008

The line between hope and Despair

Its a unforgiving world and the mistakes I have made in my early years of life have come back to haunt me Financially. Loans, Credit Cards, and the like and now I am at wits end to get my house in order.
I don't believe that hope is all gone but right now I don't even see the light that can get me that glimmer of hope, but I am working on it.

I will go further into detail in my next blog!

The Next Level